We recently returned from a 4 day trek through the Andes to Macchu Picchu (which was AMAZING). During our trek the toilet facilities were 'rustic' at best. I've peed in tents that covered holes dug in the ground, found my own 'ecological' bathroom, and yes, even went number two outside. Right beside a pile of llama dung. I figured if it was a good enough spot for the llama, it was good enough for me. There's a first time for everything, right?
Yep. I went there. The unspeakable. Poop talk. In regular life we all walk around, pretending no one poops. One of the things I have learned during various travels is that certain social rules, that seem to dictate how we interact as humans, are blown right out of the water. While traveling it is completely common to overhear conversations between people who, five minutes prior, were complete strangers, talking about their BMs and their various ailments (which 90% of the time involve the stomach region....).
I haven't decided what it is about traveling that does this to people, but I definitely have some theories. Perhaps this happens because when you are with someone all the time it is impossible to continue pretending that no one poops. Combine that with the nearly inevitable 'travelers' stomach issues' and you got yourself a plethora of poop talk. (Not from me, of course, but everyone else. Right.) Traveling has a way of bringing relationships to the next level. Never 'tooted' in front of your significant other? Go on vacation together to anywhere in Latin America and I am willing to bet that this will no longer be the case. Just ask J, who's boyfriend now affectionately refers to the three of us (J, G, and I) as the 'poop squad'. How romantic. (In our defense this was following some days in Lima where we were struck with some serious stomach ailments, of varying degrees of severity.....).
So far, our experiences with toileting have varied immensely, starting with requiring instructions on how to properly flush the toilet in Buenos Aires.
In Uruguay the bus station had my most favourite hand dryer (familiar with the XCELERATOR? You know, the hand dryer capable of making bones completely visible in even the chubbiest of hands). They had hand drying under control but they seemed to have forgotten the toilet seats, which I deem to be kinda important. And so began the development of my hover/squating skills. Apparently this is so incredibly common in bus stations across South America (and restaurants and any public toilet, really. Even the ones you have to pay to use!) I didn't realize then that this would be such a valuable skill over the next five months...
In Bolivia I learned of the importance of ALWAYS carrying TP, hand santizer and small change. Without it you better be prepared to 'drip dry', have dirty hands, and/or hold it.
When we were on an 8 hour bus in Bolivia, I'm pretty sure I figured out why the indigenous women always wear very full skirts. When our bus pulled over to the side of the road/mountain, about 10 Bolivians pile out of the bus (9 men, and a lone woman). I very quickly realize this is their equivalent of a 'rest stop'. The woman got off the bus, and squatted, about four feet from the bus, hiked up her skirt, did her business, and got back on the bus! And she didn't expose herself once in the process. I gotta get me one of those skirts.
Prior to our trek my outdoor toileting experiences were limited to outhouses, port-a-potties, and very few times in the woods. Very few. And my experiences with outhouses included base camp in grade seven during which I tried to hold it until the morning, then couldn't, went to the outhouse (but didn't want to actually sit on it...) and in the process peed on my pyjamas. Not so skilled. Needless to say, prior to leaving for the trek I was a bit worried about the toilet situation. I am pleased to report I didn't pee on my own pants (or anyone else's for that matter...) the whole time. I consider that a roaring success. During our trek we were also lucky enough to get some very good tips from one of the dudes in our group about how to most easily poop in the wilderness. It was top secret, so I can't tell you, but I will say it involved leaning against a rock.
All across this great continent I am constantly reminded (via signs) of the importance of throwing the paper in the bin and not in the toilet. I am quite certain I'll come home still looking for the bin.
These experiences have made me a better traveler and much less worried about buses without bathrooms, primarily due to my newly acquired squatting skills and constant supply of tissue. I have also confirmed (yet again) that it is much easier to be a man than a woman.
I'm not sure there is anything else Ecuador and Colombia can teach me about using the bathroom, but I'll keep you posted.
you need the P-Mate :)
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